In the Student Wellness Resource Center, we support you in the search for a healthy relationship. We offer LiveWell peer mentoring where you can get connected with a fellow Black Bear who will meet with you regularly.
Below are the signs of a healthy and unhealthy relationship, as published by OneLove. Some relationships will have signs of both healthy and unhealthy relationships. This is not intended to identify a relationship as solely healthy or unhealthy, but it is a way to analyze a relationship’s characteristics.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
There are 10 signs of a healthy relationship (sometimes called green flags). The signs of a healthy relationship are
- Comfortable Pace – The relationship moves at an enjoyable pace for both people.
- Trust – You believe your partner would not do anything to hurt you or your relationship.
- Honesty – You feel that you can be honest and candid with your partner without fear of your partner’s reaction
- Respect – You and your partner value each other’s beliefs and opinions and love each other for who they are as a person.
- Kindness – You and your partner care about each other and are empathic to each other.
- Fun – You enjoy your time together and bring out the best of each other.
- Healthy Conflict – Any issues or disagreements are discussed respectfully and non-judgementally.
- Taking Responsibility – You and your partner own your actions and words and do not blame the other person.
- Equality – Both you and your partner give equal effort to the relationship’s success.
These signs are the foundation of a healthy relationship and should be present even while experiencing stress or anxiety. When stress is placed on your relationship, it is vital that both you and your partner use each other’s coping skills. When those coping skills are not operating as well as you need them to, your partner should be there exhibiting the kindness necessary to help you. As each of you grows as a person, you may find that the other person has changed. As a couple, you could take on different roles to maximize the new skills that each of you has grown into.
It is important to remember that every relationship may not exhibit each of these signs. Some relationships have a couple of these signs, and others have more. You and your partner should strive to have as many signs in your relationship as you can in a healthy way.
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Sometimes a relationship doesn’t feel like you think it should. There can be subtle signs or there can be a big flashing sign that your relationship isn’t healthy. Consent is still required in a consensual relationship.
- Intensity – Your partner’s feelings are extreme enough to make you feel uncomfortable.
- Possessiveness – Your partner’s jealousy is being used to control your actions and social group.
- Manipulation – Your partner–sometimes subtly–tries to control you.
- Isolation – Your partner keeps you from your family, friends, and others.
- Sabotage – Your partner purposefully ruins your reputation and success.
- Belittling – Your partner uses their language to make you feel bad about yourself.
- Guilting – Your partner makes you feel like it is your responsibility to maintain their happiness or actions.
- Volatility – Your partner’s reactions are unpredictable.
- Deflecting Responsibility – Your partner blames their unhealthy behavior on anyone or anything but themselves.
- Betrayal – Your partner is disloyal.
If you think any of the signs are present in your relationship, your first thought should be about your safety. You need to make a safety plan whether your final decision is to stay in or leave the relationship. Be sure to include how to stay safe in your life on and off campus and especially your online accounts like FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Threads, and any other social media you use. If you need help creating a safety plan, Loveisrespect.org has a sample one.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 for immediate assistance. You can also use the Black Bear Safe app to request assistance from UMaine PD.
Tribal Community Resources
Serving survivors of all types of sexual violence, intimate partner violence, and stalking by providing free services and resources to all native people. Empowering survivors through hospital accompaniment, court and system advocating, safety planning, transportation, and emergency shelter services. Assisting survivors by connecting them with community referrals and resources. Assisting with transitional services and support groups that lead survivors to safety, justice, and healing.
The mission of the Wabanaki Women’s Coalition is to increase the capacity of tribal communities to respond to domestic and sexual violence, and influence tribal, national, and regional systems to increase awareness, safety, justice, and healing for all our relations.
It is the mission of the Penobscot Nation Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocacy Center to serve the needs to the victims/survivors of domestic and sexual violence who seek our services while working to end violence against Native People.
The mission of Passamaquoddy Peaceful Relations Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocacy Center is to effect change within our Tribal community where equality, respect, and nonviolence become cornerstones of all relationships.
It is the mission of the Indian Township Passamaquoddy Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocacy Center to serve the needs of victims/survivors of domestic violence, sexual violence, dating violence, stalking, and human trafficking while working to end violence against Native people.
The Maliseet Domestic & Sexual Violence Advocacy Center is dedicated to ending violence against Native women by assisting victims in regaining personal safety and control of their life, ensuring accountability of perpetrators of violence within the Tribal and non-tribal Law enforcements and judicial systems, and promoting peaceful relations in our Tribal families and Community.
It is the mission of the Micmac Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocacy Center to serve the needs of the victims/survivors of domestic and sexual violence who seek our services while working to end violence against Native women and their children.